Saturday, 22 September 2012

Funny sms

Ek traffic Police wala Bhudiya se-
Me kitni der se Siti Baja raha tha Aap Ruki Q nahi
Budiya -Beta Ab meri siti Sun k rukne ki umar hai
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Ab kya bataye
in chuho ki himmat to dekho
 h mg j p t j mA d jta m tj
tg a C h hO tp jR sh
Sara sms kutr diya
Ksam s bhot kuch likha tha
apki Tarif me
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Chuha- I LOVE YOU
Hathi- abe apni Aukaat bhul gaya kya
Chuha- are pagal aukaat pe mat ja
Confidence dekh Confidence !
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Beti- papa, mere mobile me kisi ne I love u ka message bheja hai
Papa - aisa message kabhi receive nahi karna chahiye Jiska hai use wapas bhej do.
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orange ka juice
 mera dost kanjus
Aam ka achar
hamesha bahane taiyar
Anjir k roll na kare call
Bahane hai easy kehte hai I M BUSy
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Arz Karta Hu
Chali Gayi Munni
Bhag Gayi Sheela
Chali GayiMunni
Bhag Gayi Sheela
Kyun Ke
Ab Karega SALMAN
Sab Ka CHARACTER DHEELA
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Bund clinic ke aage lumbi line thi
1 aadmi bar bar line me ghusta
pr log usko pakad k pichhe phek dete
Aadmi -lage raho salo mai clinic hi nahi kholunga
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HAPPY NEW YEAR
soch rhe ho itna let kyo
Ab tum DON ko sikhaoge kb wish karna h
Don jab chahte h tab wish karega
Lo Happy Holi Kya kr lega
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Mona -dudh wala subah subah bahut dabata hai
Rani- kya
Mona-door bell
Rani- isase achchha to mera paper wala hai
niche se daal k chala jata hai
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Sonu- Jab main paida hua tha
to militry walon ne 51 topen chalai
Santa -kamal hai ji sabka nishana chook gaya
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Santa -mai kabhi bhi shadi nahikaruga
aur aur aur
apne bacchoko bhi yahi salah dunga
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Santa- Ma kehti h bhais ka dodh pine se dimagh tez hota h
Banta-ma bewakuf banati h Agr aise hota to bhais ka baccha SCIENTIST nahi ban jata
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santa -mujhse panga na le m sherda puttar hu
Banta-yar ek bat bata sher ghar aya tha ya aunti jangal gayi thi
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Roye wo is kadar unki lash se lipat kar
ki
ki
laash khud uthkar boli
le tu mar ja ssle
me fir kabhi mar jaaunga
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Class me ak sir ne madam ko kiss dekar kaha -dekho baccho, chumne se aids nai failta
Student -accha sir, ab ye btaiye k AIDS failta kaise h !!
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Teachr -Santa ek story sunao with moral
Santa -Maine usko phone kiya vo so rahi thi
Phir usne muje phone kiya main so rahatha
Moral- Jaisi Karni Vaisi Bharni
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Khud ko kar Buland itna
ki Himalya ki choti tak pahuche
khuda khud tumse aake pucheg
aabe gadhe utrega kaise
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Election me jitne ke baad
MANMOHAN Singh ne kha
yeh to Soniya ji ke hath ka
kamal hai varna is umar me
mera khada hona mushkhil tha
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Mam -jise 1 leson yad hai
womere hath par kis krega
jise 2 leson yad hai
mere gal pe kis krega
bcha -maim bistar bichha lo
mam Q Mujhe pura book yaad hai !!
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KITNE HASEEN HAIN AAP APNE AAPKO DUNIYA KI NAZAR SE BACHAYA KARO
ANKHO ME CHASMA HI KAFINAHI GALE ME NIMBU MIRCHI BHILATKAYA KARO
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Shayri Likhna Koi Masti Nahi
Shayri Karna Koi Sasti Nahi
Jo Ladki Tumhare Samne Hasti Nahi
Samjho K Wo Brush Barabar Karti Nahi
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 Insaan Insaan ko das raha h
 wah wah
Insaan Insaan ko das raha h
wah wah
or saap side me baith khans raha hai
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sir -chalo newton ke law batao
santa -sir pura to nahi ata
sir- chalo jitna he utna to batao
santa- and that s are the newton s law
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2012 ki new genration
teachr ne kg class k bache se kha -1 10 tak ginti sunao to mai tumhe kiss krungi
Bacha - agar 1 100 taksunao to kya package h !!
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ek bhoot dosre bhoot se kha -kitni ajeeb baat hai na
ladke marne ke baad bhoot ban jate hai
aur ladkiya chudel ki chudelhi rah jati hain
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Zindgi Badi Udas Hai Dog Ko Lagi Pyas He
Mujhe Duniya Se Na Koi Aas H
Cow Khati Grass He
Uska Phone Toot Jaye
Jisne Kaha Meri Poem Bakwas Hai
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Ultimate Insult -
ladka DEO laga k bus pe chadha
ladki ne coment paas kiya -
Aaj-kal Phinayel ka USE zyada hota h
ladka bola- Fir b makkhiya pichha nahi chhodti
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Arz Kiya Hai
Chicken Aise Pakao Ke Kaccha Na Ho
Chicken Aise Pakao Ke Kaccha Na Ho
Aur Mohabbat Aise nibhao Ke Baccha Na Ho
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bachcha bahut der se ro raha tha
Maa ne puchhha Mere Laal Ko kya chahiye
Toffe Biscuitya Milk
Bachcha- Bas ek Sanam Chahiye Aasiqui ke liye
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Zindagi behal h Sur h na taal h
Msgbox bhi kangal h
Kya aap kis ms factory me hartal hai
Yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile kizindagi ka sawal hai
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Sardar ko koi mobile pe tang karta tha
sardar ne New Sim kharid kr use msg kiya
maine wo Sim band kar Di hai
ab Tu kya tera baap bhi Mujhe Tang Nahikar sakta
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Garmi aa gayi hai
apna khayal rakhna
pani zyada pina
khana kam khana
aur sir ko dhoop se bachana
kyunki
bhuse me aag jaldi pakadti hai
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Laloo bada chalak hai
Nau baccho ka bap hai
Laloo bada nirala he
Dasva ane wala he
ye andar ki baat hai
isme Vajpayee ka hath hai
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arj hai
aap ki tasveer banate hai to adhuri rah jati hai
aap ki tasveer banate hai to adhuri rah jati hai
kabhi sing reh jata hai  to punch rah jaati hai
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Dada ji- oye teri teacher ghar aa rahi hai
ja chup ja
Pota- pehle aap chup jao
aapki maut ka bahana banakar 2 hafton ki chutti le rakhi hai maine
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unki surat mere dil me bas gai h
Wah wah to karo
Unki surat mere dil me bas gai h
Munni shila k bad ab Raziya gundo me fas gayi hai
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srdar ko kisi ladki ne spne me sandle mari
30 din tak srdar ji apne bank nhi gye pata hai Q
Qki bank me likha tha hum aapke spno ko hqikat me bdalte hai
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Ek ladki cricket match dekhne gai
usne apne hoto par TIRANGE ka rang lga rakha tha
Ek ladka aaya aur uske hoto par kiss kr gya aur bola I LV MY INDIA
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yaar ruthe to rab ruthe
yaar fir ruthe to jag chhute
yaar fir ruthe to dil tute
yaar fir ruthe to
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Chapalmar saale ko roj ka 1 hi drama hai
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Dr- Ap ka weight kitna hai
 Patient-Chasme ke sath 75 kgs
Dr -Aur chasme ke bagair
Patient- Bo mujhe dikhta hi nahi
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Tere duniya me koi gum na ho
tere surat aur khusiya kabhi kam na ho
bhagwan tumko aisi gharwali de
jo dabbang ki munni sekam na ho
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Zindgi me 1bat hamesa yad rakho
kabhi kisi ke dil se mat khelo
Qki dil ek hota hai Agar khelna hai
to KIDNEY se khelo
Qki
KIDNEY DO hota hai
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Santa -gold ki chaddi laya aur gao me sabhi ko lungi uchi kr kr k dikhane laga
ghar aya almari kholi aur behosh ho gaya kyoki chaddi almari me hi thi
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Pyaar to humein bhi karna tha par kuch khaas nahi hua
Tajmahal to humein bhi bananatha par afsoos ke loan pass nahi hua
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Judge to Mujrim Tumhari akhari khwaish kya he
Mujrim Ek mobilenokia n81 5 carore rupay Apki
beti se shadi U S A ka viza 2 salka honeymoon
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BANIYA antim sanse le rha tha
bola -meri biwi kha h
Biwi -yhi hu
Meri beti
Beti -yhi hu
Or mera beta
Beta -yhi hu
Saale sb yhi hoto dukaan pe kon hai
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Girlfriend boyfriend se Ab hame
shaadi kar leni chahiye
Boyfriend Voh to theek hai par
hum se shaadi karega koun
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Sant ne apne papa ke birthday
card par unko sher likh k bheja
phool to bahut hain par gulaab
jaisa koi nahi mere papa to
bahut hain pr app jaisa koi nahi
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Ek Ladki Ghar Se Bhaag Gayi
3 Din Baad Wapis Aayi
Father- Ghusse Se Ab Kya Lene Aayi Ho
Ladki -Patli Pin Wala Charger
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2 Pandito me ladai ho rhi thi
bohut der ho gyi to tisre pndit
ne akr pucha kya hua
1 Pndit jabme lehsun pyaj nahi khata to
isne mere chiken me dala Q
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Boyz rules
Hausle sare azma baithe
hum zamane ke gum utha baithe
jiski chahat me umar bhar
tadpe usi ki shadi me dusri ladki pata baithe
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patient doctr mai subah 6baje
utha hu aur mujhe saans lene
mai takliif ho rhi h Doctr beta
jaldi utha karo sari oxcygen toh
baba ramdev aur unke chele lelete h
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Santa ne ishara kar ke tej aa rahi
bus ko roka driver kaha jana hai
Santa jana to kahi nahi baccha ro
raha hai zara poo poo to bajaa de
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Neend aati hai to khwab aata h
khwab me ek ladki aati h
Ladki k pichhe uska baap aata h
Phir naneend aati h aur na khwab aata h
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Father -kya hua beta kyo ro rahe ho
mujhe batao main tumhara dost jaisa hu
Son- kya batau yaar Apni wali se milne gaya tha
teri wali ne bahut mara
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santa mobile recharge karwane gaya
dukndar- kitne ka
santa- 10 ka
dukandar -7Rs ka tak milega
santa- koi bat nahi 3 ka namkin hi dedo
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Pani me gira rumal to rumal geela hai
aasman me dekha to aasman neela hai
mohabbat to sab karte hai
par mai karu to sala character dheela hai
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GOLU TAnki sAAf krne Chait pr gya
TAnki pAr Qava Beth AwA thA
Wo jALdi sE NeChAy utrA Or
Shiri hAtA di Or boLA
BetA MAi to utArgyA to kEsE ayega
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Great words Kal ka kaam aaj mat karo kya pata kal tak us kaam ko karne k liye koi machine aa jaye -William Kaam Chor
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1 Angrej Ne India Ka Masaledar Dinner Khaya
Agli Subah Toilet Se Niklte Hi
Ab Samjha Indians Q Pani Se Dhote He
Sala Tissue PaperTo Aag Pakad Lega
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Har traf padhai ka saya hai
Kitabon me sukh kisne paya hai
Hum to jaate the tution ladkiya dekhne Or sir kehte the
Dekho itni dhoop me bi padhne aaya hai
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Girl -Tum mere liye kya kya kr skte ho
Boy -kya karu
Girl -mere liye chand la skte ho
Boy -fir kya prithvi k charo taraf tera baap ghumega
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Eclairs aur i pill me kya difference hai
Chhoti bachhi Eclairs kha k masti karti hai
aur
Badi bachhi masti kar k I pil khati hai
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Snta Ka Beta I m a Complan Boy
Snta Ki Beti I m a Complain Girl
Snta Kya Chakkar Hai Yaar Paida
Maine Kiya Naam Kisi Aur Ka LeRahe Hai
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Teachar -i love you ka janam kaha hua
boy china me Q k
 iski na koi Warranty he
or na koi Gurranty
chale to chand tak nahi to shaam tak
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Teri saanson ki thakaan, teri nigahon ka sukoot
Dar haqeeqat koi rangeen shararat hi na ho
Mein jissay pyar ka andaz samajh baitha hoon
Woh tabasum, woh takallum teri aadat hi na ho
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Din bhar ki thakaan ab mita lijiye,
Ho chuki raat roshni bhujhalijiye,
1 Khusurat khawb raah dekh rahi hai,
Bus palkon par parda gira lijiye.
Good Night:-)
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Aapke jaisa dost khone nahi denge,
apko humse alag hone nahi denge,
Roz sms kiya kro warna Aakhon mein
mirchi dal denge aur dhone bhi nahi denge.
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Phone ke rishte bhi ajib hote hai.
Balance rakhkar bhi log garib hote hai
Khud to msg karte nahi hai,
Muft ke msg padhne ke kitne shauqin hote hai.
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India ki reet-ladki agar apni marzi se patjaye to pyar,
agar dost pata de to uphar,
agar gharwale le aaye to sanskar,
aur agar khud pata kar ghar leaao to hahakar.
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Sham ki tanhai mein kho na jaana,
Kisi ki masti mein doob na janaa,
Milengi zarur manzilein tumhe,
Unhe pakar hum jaise doston ko bhool na jana…
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Bhaiyo aur Only Bhaiyo,
Nind Nahi Aati Mujhe Tab Se,
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Mujhe Nind Nahi Aati Tab Se,
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5 Rupye Khoyehai Jab Se.
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Girl: Main us Aadmi se shaadi kar0n gi, Jo sara din laga rahy magr us sy kch na ho. . . ;)
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Boy: Misbah pe nazar hy teri haan... =P
Bari tezz hy tu?
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Gilani: Ye Mulk Bekaar Mulk Hy. Yahan Ki Sarkain Purani. Buildings Purani. Log Jahil.
Is Mulk Ko Baich Day?
.Zardari: Dimagh Kharab Hogya Hy? Yahan Me Peda Hoa. Jawani Ka Zamana Yahan Guzara. B.b Se Shadi Yahan Ki. Yahan Ki Jail Ki Daal Roti Khai.
Or Tu Keh Raha Hy K Baich Day?
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Gillani: Wese Obama Ne 10 Billion Dollar Ki Offer Ki Thee.
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Zardari: Baich Day.
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M0ral:
Www.olx.com
Yahan Sub Bikta Hy. ...


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Khuda ka shukr hai ki aansu berang hote hai..
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Warna..
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Raaton ko bheeg jane wale takiye kya raaz bayan kar dete.
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Ladkiya paraya dhan hai, to ladke kya?
Nahi pata kya?
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Ek No. ke CHOR,
jinki nazar hamesha paraye dhan par hi lagi hoti hai.
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Socho agar bhagwan Ram rath ki jagah
NANO car mein baith kar RAWAN se ladte to rawan kya kahta.
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Chalao na NANO se baan re,
Jaan le lo na Ram re!!
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Agar koi achha sa msg ho to use jaldi se
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Paper par likh kar almari me band kar do
Kahin galti se SEND na ho jaye KANJUS.

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Ek baat dil se batana
Is
kalyug
me
aakar
tum
jaise
paapiyo
ne
aisa
koun sa
achha
kaam
kiya
jo
tumhe
“Mujh jaisa masoom aur pyara dost mila..?”
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Break-up ke baad aisa kyu lagta hai,
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Ke saala har sad song apne liye hi likha gaya hai.

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Khali jagah bharo
____ Land ____ par ____ Choot.
!
!
!
!
!
!
tum to wanhi tak sochoge..
Ans is:
Wood Land shoes Par Bhari Choot!
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Sochiye physics kitni eassy hoti
aagr
aagr
aagr
aagr
Apple ki jagah ped gira hota
aur newton wahi nipat gaya hota.
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Mandir mein joota utaarte waqt,
aur kisi ko miss call marte waqt,
bus ek hi dar rehta hai..?
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Koi utha na le.
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3 Pyar bhare SMS..
1)
2)
3)
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Kuchh nazar aaya?
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Nahi?
PYAR nazar nahi aata, Mehsus kiya jata hai.

Wo jo mehboob ki yaad mein jaagte hai tanha raaton ko..
Sirf wo hi bata sakte hai ke
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Kaun se mobile ki battery zyada chalti hai..!!
Sindhi ki Dukan mein likha tha:
Meri har khata ko sirf ye soch kar maaf kar dena doston..
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ki
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tum kaun se shareef ho..!!
Idea Presents
MEGA offer
idea to idea
idea to AIRTEL
idea to BSNL
Completely free
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For Missed Calls only.
What an idea? Sir ji .
Jis chehre ko dekh kar haste the hum,
aaj usine “Rula diya” khud ne to phone kiya nai
humne kiya to
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Caller tune “Tujhe Bhula Diya??”
A boy was walking in rain.
A gal came: Why didn’t you share umbrella?
Boy: no its Ok sister & walked away.
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Moral: Moral voral kuch nahi.. Ladki khaas nahi thi!

Kabhi-2 Mere Dil Me Khayal Aata Hai..!
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Kya Hua.. Khayal Dhundh Rahe Ho?
.
.
Arrey Yaar Kaha Na Kabhi-2 Aata Hai.

Kuch log thodi der karte hain….
Kuch log 2-3 dafa karte hain,
aur kuch saari raat karte rahate hain,
tab jaakar hota hai….
unka…
Mobile Charge…!

Meri taref se apko 1 “PuPPI” Aapki saheli ko 1 “PAPPI”
Saheli ki saheli ko 1 “PuPPI” Batau bhala kiun?
Aaj hi mere “DOggy” ne 10 “PuPPI” ko janam de hai!

NEEVEDAN ki had kya hogi..??
?
?
Jab kisi Ladki ka REP ho raha ho
aur
kahe
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.
.
plz,
CONDOM to laga lo.

Dosti main to log apni Jaan bhi de dete hai…
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Lekin
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Apni Jaan Ka Number KOI Nahi Deta.

Tum Par bhi bitegi toh Tum bhi Jaan Jaoge dosto,
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Koi daawat Par bula Kar ‘KHICHDI’ Khilaye toh kaisa Lagta hai……

Good Night
!
!
!
!
!
!
!
Sweet Dreams
!
!
!
!
!
Take Care
!
!
!
!
!
Ab aur kya dekh rahe ho
Bister, takiya
Chadar bhi SMS se bheju kya!

Character
Self respect
Hope
Heart
.
.
.
&
.
Well U know my name
So Be My Valentine
Nalayk bano to aise bano ke,
Jis din bhi Kitab kholo to,
Khud Kitab ke panne tumse puche..
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Beta aaj tabiyat to theek hai na ya pee rakhi hai..!
Arz kiya hai saari raat guzar jaati hai
bas isi kasmakash mein ki..
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Ye saali razayi mein
hawa kidhar se ghus rahi hai..!!
This message is for adults only..
Plz read only if you are above 18…
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Elections are coming
Plz VOTE…!!


Udhaar sirf 80 se 90 Saal ki Umar ke logon ko diya jayga,
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Wo bhi un ke maa baap se pooch kar!!

My story of success:

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1988: i was a baby

But now

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2012: I can produce a baby..

Hardwork boss..!!  Hardwork..!!

Pehly bahon main uthana,
.
Phir kiss kerna,
.
Phir bed per letana,
.
Pher tangain uthana,
.
Uf
.
Kitna
.
Mushkil hay,
.
Bachay ko pamper pehnana.
1 girl ask 2 pappu : woh kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain?
pappu : legs
Girl : woh kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai aur meri pant mein nahi hai?
pappu: paisay
Girl : woh kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye ko raat bistar pe kartay hain
pappu: neend puri karte hain
girl : woh kia hai jo larki pehli daffa karwate huye pain ki wajah se roti hai?
pappu : kaan main ched
MORAL : aap bhi apni zehniat pappu ki tarhan saaf rakhain
Talented Question:-
Agar tumhari shadi judwa behan mein se kisi 1 ke sath ho jaye to tum apni bv ko kaise pehchanoge?
Best Answer:
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.
Main kyun Pehchanu?
5 panchi ek daal pe baithe the,
ek sikari aaya ek ko mar diya,
3 udh gaye ek wahi baitha raha,
kyu ?
bas aapki tarah,
.
.
FOKAT KI DADAGIRI
TERi lita k lu?
Ya bitha k lu?
Andhere main lu ya bulb jala k lu?
ya tujhe karun khara ?
ya teri jhuka k lu?
Ab tu hi bata k main teri
PHoto
kaise lon?
chooss chooss chooss mazay lay kar chooss bari bari ik ik kar kay chooss donoo ko ik saath chooss masal masal kay choos kyon kay kahin Aamon (Mango) ka season katham na ho jay.
Hello hello mera lelo
kya?
Salam.
bolo bolo apni kholo.
kya?
ZUban
DEkho apni khol k dekho
kya ?
AAnkhien
Kitna bara hai mera
kya?
DIL
Girl: What do you like in me?
Boy: Those who white big balls having black dots in it.
Girl: Whattt???
Boy: Yes i like your eyes. Its really beautiful..
Dil karta hai k,ek din tumhayapnay ghar lay jahoon,
jab mera ghar koi na hoo.tumhay apnaa room main lay jaa
ker apna bed per betha do,darwazaband kar k.
sari windows bhi band kar do,
parday girrakar lights off kar do aur
tumharay kareeb aakar tumharay saath beth jahoon,
apnaa haath tumhari taraf brhaa kartumhay dikhaon hoon k………..
mari ghari ki bhi light lagti hai
Pehlay gallay lagao
phir kiss karo
phir bistar pe litaao
phir neechay haath laga ke check karo
agar bachay ne susu ki hai to nappy badal do


Plz KISS Me
Jaldi Koi B Nai Hai
Foran Karo
Jaldi Karo Na
K
I
S
S
U Know KISS
Means
K-Koi
I-Intresting
S-SMS
S-Send Karo
So
KISS Me!!
MALLIKA se ghode ki sawari karne k baad ghodewala:Ghoda bahut khus hai....
Malika:Meri taango ke beech jo be aata hai khush ho jata hai. 
                    
jab ladki apne se 
bade ke aage jhukti hai toh uske kya dikhte 
hai?......................................................
it's your thinking uske boobs, but no
uske sanskar dikhte hai

Kuch larkiyan khari ho kar deti hain, Kuch thora jhuk kar
deti hain, Aur kuch to baith kar dainey ki aadi hoti hain,
Kitna mushkil kaam hai “JHAAROO dena”

Uff plzz plzz aur karo naaa

dabao naa, zara zor se

aisa karo apni shirt nikalo

apni pant bhi nikal do

meri saadi bhi nikal do

ab zorse dabao aur dabao naa

bahut tight hai plz.

aur Zorse!plz karo naa plz……,

ho gaya na suitcase bannd. 

A girl sitting in examination hall with sardar ji

Girl: sardar ji mein tuwadi nakal mar laa?..

Sardar: ahoo to meri nakel maar lay fair mein teri asal mar lawa ga…
‘m very good in bed…
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
I can sleep all day…
What Were U Thinking . . . ;->


Unmarried hone ka sabse bada nuksaan kya hai?

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Aap bed ke dono taraf se gir sakte hai.

So get married soon.
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Heart Touching Lines

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_____(Heart)____

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Next Time I’ll Send U KIDNEY Touching Lines.
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A deadly PJ.
What do u cal a group of farmers stuck at one place?
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KISSAN JAM!
Plz dont throw ur mobiles.

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Mirchi muh ke alawa aur kaha lagti hai?
?
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?
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?
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kheto mein lagti hai mere dost..
hamesha apni Gaand ke baare mein hi kyo sochte ho?
X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X
Kya pata, main na dekh paun kal ka suraj,
Dosto
Ho sakta hai kal sara din barish hoti rahe!
Tum Log to bas jaan le lo meri.
X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X
Agar mujhse pyar karte ho to
Press Down
.
.
.

Mujhe pehle se hi shaq tha tujpe..
Saale..
GAY
Dur hi rehna mujhse!!
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Ek zabardust dil hila dene wala SMS
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Kal karunga!
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Teri khamoshi aur
udasi ki wajah hum samajh na sake ae dost,
.
.
.
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Wo to shaam ko teri mummy ne bataya
ke aaj teri chappal se pitai hui hai!!

X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X
Kal 2 logon ko bewakoof banaya
Puchho Kaise..?
?
!
?
!
?
!
?
!
Bilkul aise
Ab 3 ho gaye
X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X
Film mein kaam karoge?
roll sirf itna hai ke 1 ladki aap ko 1 kamre mein le jaigi

Aur
Aur
Aap ko
Goli maar degi.
Film Ka Naam Hai:
“Band kamre mein kutte ki maut.”
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Height of Kaminapan:
A boy listening to extremely sad song and thinking..
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Kaunsi wali ko yaad karu yaar!!
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Actually
Physically
Chemically
Biologically
Equally
Simply
Truly
Badly
Gladly
Zoologically
Botanically
Sadly
Rightly
Wrongly
Correctly
Rarely
Darely
Madly
Surely
Quickly
Slowly
Historically
Mathematically
Farely
Shortly
Longly
Dully
Fully
Brucelee
Jetlee
Brettlee
Idly
Chilli
Pilli
Balli
Completely
Really
Highly
Lowly
Hardly
Softly
Carefully
Totally
Truthfully and
Finally
I just wanted to say Good Night
Differently
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 Do U know what is D Meaning of PYAR..??
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it is a group of frnds siting around a Table in BAR..
.
& saying..
.
. P-YAAR..!!
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MILLION COPIES OF A NEW BOOK SOLD IN JUST TWO DAYS DUE TO TYPING ERROR IN TITLE i.e.

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"AN IDEA CAN CHANGE YOUR WIFE (LIFE)":-
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Ladkiyo ke 7 jhut?
1. I Love u.
2. Aapki kasam.
3. U r my 1st love.
4. Balance nahi hai.
5. Awaaz nahi aa rahi.
6. Parents sath mein hai.
7. Me tumhe hi yaad kar rahi thi.
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Ek baat meri samajh mein bilkul nahi aata hai,
Tumhari chhapalon ki design har roz badli hui nazar aati hai,
Sabhi sandal apne aap mein attractive hain,
Kya tumhare boyfriend kisi joote ki company ke representative hain…
 
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Jab tumhe dekhu my dil start flying,
Tumse baat karne ko I keep trying,
Jab tu dur jaye I feel like crying,
Arre itna mat chad I was just lying…

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India ki reet-ladki agar apni marzi se patjaye to pyar,
agar dost pata de to uphar,
agar gharwale le aaye to sanskar,
aur agar khud pata kar ghar leaao to hahakar.
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Bhaiyo aur Only Bhaiyo,
Nind Nahi Aati Mujhe Tab Se,
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Mujhe Nind Nahi Aati Tab Se,
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5 Rupye Khoyehai Jab Se..
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 Girlfriend is Hot Water,
Lover is Mineral Water,
Wife is Corporation Water,
Relationship is Kaveri Water,
But “FRIENDSHIP” is pure Rain Water!
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Why does not Bangladesh have an
Olympic team.??
Bcoz
all those who can jump, swim
& run have already crossed the border.

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 Hum Aaj Bhi Dil Ka Aashiyana Sajane Se Darte Hain,
Baagon Mein Phool Khilaney Se Darte Hain,
Hamari Ek Pasand Se Tut Jaayeinge Hazaaro Dil,
Tabhi Toh Hum Aaj Bhi Girlfriend Bananey Se Darte Hain…
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 Suna hai wo keh kar gaye hai ke ab to hum,
Sirf tumhare khawboo main hi aayenge,
Koi keh de unse ki wo vada kar le hum se,
zindagi bher ke liye so jayenge…
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 Apne mobile ko facewash lagakar
garm pani se dhokar use kumkum aur
chawal lagakar mandir mein chadaa do!
Kyun ki SMS to Aap karte nahi, To puja karo!
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When ever boys see a Beautiful Girl with
Cool Figure
Long Hair
Fair Complexion
They remind the Tata Sky slogan
Isko pata dala to life jhingalala.
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It is said that if you close your eyes, you see the person you love the most.
and when i do that,
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SlideShow beginsX---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X
 Raatan nu nind na aave,
Dine chain na aava,
Jad main rab to pucheya rabba ki ehi pyar hai?
Rab ne muskara ke keha,” Nahi beta, Light de bina Sab da ehi haal hai…!!!!
X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X
 G:- Ghomne phirne ki shokeen
I:- Innocent
R:- Rone ki machine
L:- Larko ki pocket khali karne wali.
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Ab Jab ghire Baadal, Teri Yaad aayi,
Jhoom ke barsa Saawan, Teri Yaad aayi,
Bheega main, lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayi,
Kyon na aaye teri yaad?
Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai…

X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X---------X
 89% of teachers are suffering from throat cancer problem by teaching students..
So plz BUNK the classes as much as possible & save our TEACHERS.
**HAPPY TEACHERS DAY**
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Girl: Kal mein tumhare liye rakhi layi thi.
Tumne bandhwai kyun nahi?
Clasic Ans:
Boy: Agar kal mein tere liye mangalsutra lau to kya tu pehen legi?
baaaaat karti hai.
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A true friendship quote:
If i come to know that,
I wud DIE soon,
I’ll hide it from u till i DIE.
Bcoz u IDIOTS will ask FareWell party 4 that also!
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Aaj main aap se apne dil ki bat kahna chati hun
han wohi 3 alfaz jo aap sunna chahen
han wo hi 3 alfaz jo aap k dil ko chulen
***HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY***
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Science Teacher: Bachcho zinda rahne ke liye kya zaruri hai?
Student: itna bhi nahi pata mam?
Zinda rehne ke liye teri qasam..
ek mulaqat zaruri hai sanam.
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Wife bathroom se naha ke nikli to Santa use ghur raha tha!
Wife romantic hokar:
Kuch karne ka irada hai kya?
Santa 2 thappad maar ke bola:
Mere garm pani se kyu nahayi!!
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 Ishq me ye anjam paya hai,
haath pair toote, muh se khoon aya hai
hospital pahuche to nurse ne farmaya
BAHARO PHOOL BARSAO KISIKA MEHBOOB AAYA HA  

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 You know what COLLEGE means??
C=Come
O=On
L=Lets
L=Love
E=Each
G=Girl
E=Equally
So every BOY goes to COLLEGE.
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 Man: is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: get married
man: will it help?
Doc: no, but it will avoid such thoughts
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 Santa ki shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi beta ho gaya.
Santa: Ye 3 mahine mein bacha kaise ho gaya?
Biwi: Aapki shadi ko kitna time hua hai?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur meri shadi ko?
Santa: 3 mahine.
Biwi: Aur bachcha kitne time baad hua?
Santa: 3 mahine baad.
Biwi: Total kitne mahine ho gaye?
Santa: Ohh teri vakai, 9 mahine ho gaye!
time ka pata hi nahi laga?
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Mangta hun to deti nahi ho,
Jawaab meri baat ka.
Aur deti ho to khada ho jata hai,
Rom-Rom jazbat ka.
Muuh me lena tumhe pasand nahi,
Ek bhi qatra sharab ka.
Phir Kyu bolti ho ke dheere se daalo,
Balon mein phool gulab ka?
Woh Soti rahi mein karta raha,
Intezaar uske jawab ka.
Abhi uske haath mei rakha hi tha ke usne pakad liya,
Guldasta Gulabon ka.
Usne kaha pichhe se nahi aaGe se karo,
Deedar Mere husn-e-shabbab ka.
Usne kaha bada maza aata hai jab andar jata hai,
Kano Mein Ek Ek lafz Tere pyar ka.
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Movies of school life
Classes- Bardasht.
Attendance- Hera pheri.
Class room- No entry.
Teacher- Janidushman.
Exam- Evil dead.
Examiner- Don.
Frnd during paper- Hum aapke hai kaun?
Viva- Encounter.
Marking- Andha kanoon.
Exam time- Qayamat.
Cheating- Lage raho munna bhai.
Question paper- Ek paheli.
Answer paper- Kora kagaj.
Result- Sadma.
pass- Chamatkar.
Fail- Devdas.
Future- Na tum jano na hum.
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 Girls not remain without boys.. How??
Fe(male)-male
Wo(man)-man
S(he)-he
So dont try to be alone.
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Boy: Suno jara.
Girl: Chup raho, Khate time baat nahi karte,
khaane k baad
Ladki: Ab bolo
Boy: Teri plate mein cockroch tha, le aur ban Heroine!
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 Mat Karo Pyar Kisi Se Phoolon Ki Taraha
Phool To Pal Mein Murjha Jaate Hain
Pyar Karo To Karo Kaaton Ki Taraha
Jo Chubhne Ke Baad Bhi Yaad Aate Hain…
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The difference between TRUTH and LIE.
TRUTH: Is a debit card
Pay 1st and enjoy later.
LIE: Is a credit card
Enjoy 1st and pay later.
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What is BULL RIDING in sex?
TRY THIS:
Get on Top of Ur Girl While doing with her..
Whisper another girl’s name gently!
Then see how long u can stay on top??

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Duniya mein har insaan ka kuch na kuch naam hai,
magar bheed mein jab hum aawaz lagate hai,
Abe o chutiye
Kasam se 20 mein se 18 log palat kar dekhte hai.
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 Doctors After Operation and Students After Exam Both tell the Same Answer
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.
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We Tried Our Best
Can’t Say Anything Right Now!
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Main bevkuf!
Main bevkuf!
Main bevkuf!
Main bevkuf!
Main bevkuf!
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.
Aahista bolo
Aawaj yahan tk aa rhi hai
Ab Ho to ho
sbko btana jruri hai kya.

Uss insan se zyada
badnaseeb kaun hoga
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Jiski Maggi mein
Masala ka pouch hi na nikle.
Ha ha ha bichara!!

Summer’s ULTIMATE
Mummy dailouge
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.
KAMBAKHTO THANDA
PANI PITE HO TO
BOTTLE BHI BHAR KE RAKH DIYA KARO

What is the moral of rajnikant movie ROBOT
?
?
?
?
?
?
Ladkiya ladko ka hi nahi machino ka dimag bhi kharab kar deti hai.
1 din ravan disco mein gaya
aur
waha jaa kar behosh ho gaya
kyun?
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.
.
.
Kyun ki
waha gate par likha tha
entry fees RS 1500/- per head.

Advice for life
Life is too Short
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So Plz don’t waste ur time in removing pen-drive safely.
Aise hi khinch liya karo yaar..!!

Ek baat hamesha yaad rakhna..!!
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.
Jodi jarur aasman mein bnti hai..
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.
Par setting zameen par hi krni padti hai.


What will be the ad for Petrol in Year 2020?
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.
.
Buy 10 liter Petrol & Get 1 Tata Nano free…!!!

Time for PJ:
What do u say if petrol is leaking from Maruti car?
Think
Think…
Ok let me tell..
MARUTI SUSU Ki

Ladies ko petrol pump ke bahar kyu utar diya jata hai?
.
.
.
kyun ki
.
.
.
Petrol pump par likha hota hai
Aag lagane wali cheje bahar rakhe

night was dark
Moon was high
Boy stopped bike
Girl asked why?
He came close..
She felt shy..
& he said
DHAKKA MAAR
Herion petrol… khatam ho gaya hai.
Rape is not a crime.
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Its just a
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.
Surprise sex.

Do hijde bus se utar rahe the to ek achanak se gir gaya aur rone laga.
To doosra usko tassali dete huwe bola…
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Uth salma!
Mard ban!
Meri behen

Agar tum usse
na pa sako jisse tum pyar karte ho to
.
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Sharam karo
.
.
.
Lao number mujhe do
main try karta hoo..!!

Exam + Rowdy Rathore
.
.
.
Jo main padhta hu wo main likhta hoon..
.
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aur..
.
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Jo main nahi padhta wo main definitely likhta hoon..!!

Hum pani kyu pite hain?
.
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.
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kyuki hum use kha nahi sakte
taali mat bajao plz..
kasam se bachpan se genius hu,
par kabhi ghamand nahi kiya!

Aagaz hui dosti se fir wo pyaar me badal gaya
jab pyaar chadha parwan to wo zindagi hi ban gaya
fir zindgi k daur me aaye wo din kayamat k
bana k zinda lash, fir wo bewafai kar gaya
Jab masruf the mohabbat ki duniya me to unse ek pal ki duri hame bada satati
jab milta mai unse to dhadkane tham si jaati,
aaj bhi unhi raaho me nazre bichaye baithe hai
lekin kismat to dekho, koi ummid nazar nhi aati.
Nazar aur nasib k milne ka ittefaq kuch aisa hai...ki nazar ko pasand hamesha wahi aata hai...jo nasib me nahi hota
koi kahe maine unhe shidat se nhi chaha, ye mumkin nhi hai unke rooth jane k baad bhi tootkar unhe chaha, ek pal bhi jo bhula ho, ye mumkin nhi hai. suna hai unhone kisi gair ki mehandi apne haatho me lagai hai, par jane kyo dil aaj bhi kehta hai k ye mumkin nahi hai
kabhi sirf dost hi the zindagi me to bohot khush raha karte the, fir wo aaye bahar banke to beshumar mohabbat kiya karte the, aaj na wo dost rahe na wo mohabbat, to aaj sirf yaad-e-tanhai jiya karte hai. @visit my own created page yaad-e-tanhai for shayari lovers. Hope u will like it.
khuda kisi ko kisi pe,fida na kare , agar kare to qayamat tak jauda na kare.
wo kehte the tum nili shirt me bohot acche lagte ho, aaj jab bhi nili shirt pehenta hu, ukni yaad aati hai wo kehte the tum baaten bohot karte ho, aaj jab bhi kisi se baaten karta hu unki yaad aati hai, wo kehte the tum bohot masoom lagte ho, aaj jab bhi aaina dekhta hu, unki yaad aati hai.
pyaar me nhi koi zamanat hai, jo wafa na kar sake aise pyaar pe lanat hai, kaha karte the wo ki vikram mai sirf tumhari hu, aaj wo kisi aur ki amanat hai.

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